Missing Posts

Can you help me find the posts that are bold and red? I want a record of this HORRIBLE hoax in it's entirety and I can't find those 8 posts anywhere.

• ▼ May (28)
  • what's in a name?
  • dear mr. anonymous
  • head held high
  • this will all make perfect sense someday. or not.
  • grow, baby, grow!
  • becoming educated
  • the results show post
  • my first ever contest and a few pretty things
  • HIS will Wednesday Tuesday
  • good God
  • alive. no, really, i am...
  • hoping in pink!
  • when i cry, all my tears He wipes away
  • pink, anyone?
  • let them fall like rain from my eyes
  • because you ARE stylish and you love life!
  • an s.o.s. to the world
  • calm in the chaos
  • just living life
  • HIS will Wednesday
  • the sun gives way to rain and good things change
  • the taste of salt, the dance of waves...
  • it's raining outside...
  • HIS will, and HIS will Wednesday
  • so, who's this "D" guy, anyway?
  • monkeys and maternity photos
  • because, "everyone" is asking...
  • the grays and pinks

6/8/09 2:13 PM

This post was retrieved from Bloglines as the cache had been cleared and it couldn't be found via the original blog cache.

I know you all are so concerned about April and anxious to hear how she is doing. I'm so sorry there have been no updates for so long. I have stepped back to allow D to protect his family as he has chosen to. I want to respect that. There have also been no updates because the focus has shifted from the blog to what is going on with April right now. As it should.

Posts have been removed and photos taken down. It may be brash, but there is not the luxury of time to think through how to respond to things. Their focus is not on what is swirling around on the internet. Their attention is on their daughter.

I am hundreds of miles away from B & D and April right now, so have been just as anxious to hear an update as all of you.

I just spoke with B on the phone. She and April (and D) are at the hospital right now. April's health was beginning to decline, and B was not feeling well either, so together with the midwife they made the call and took a short ambulance ride to the nearby hospital.

The doctors at the hospital are running some tests on April right now. B did not know the details of what tests (they were in separate areas at the time, plus it was really noisy and hard to understand everything), but she knows they are doing some blood work to begin with.

So, the good news is, April Rose is alive right now! And, she and B are both continuing to receive excellent care. We can pray for wisdom for the doctors and for D & B. We can pray that they will return home tonight with their baby in tow (I wonder if the hospital supplies car seats in these situations???).

We can pray for the God of Truth to reign in this situation and for what is true to be brought to light. We do not look to the left or to the right for what is true, but to the Creator of Life. God is not a God of confusion.

I will continue to update as B asks me to. I have told her about all of the wonderful encouragement you all are sending her way. She is grateful for that, so thank you.

Raechel

decision for now

This post was retrieved from Bloglines as the cache had been cleared and it couldn't be found via the original blog cache.

hi world. it's d and i have decided to keep this blog as just updates at this time.
we have received so much hate and accusations the last 2 days through the internet both on here and in our email.

i have read and heard and seen it all. a doctored image of our girl with red horns and a tail, emails about how we have done all of this for cash (for the record we have never taken in any donation money or checks. the only person who has gotten money from this blog is PASS Pregnancy Care Center) at this time it is too much.

people are entitled to believe what they want. people can say that we are cons or whatever else they would like to say. we know our hearts, so do our friends and so does God.

we do not plan on ending this blog but at this time there is no room for the hate we have received. this is not the time and we only wish people could see that as truth and not continue spreading lies and speaking hate to a family trying to live life. to those who have supported us with prayers....the most important thing anyone can do is pray and so we will continue to post prayer updates and information but at this time that is all we can do.

d

April Rose is HERE!!!

Did I mention that April is crying? and blonde? :) -R

April is here! Praise Jesus!

Her mama has been working very hard and April came into this world at 2:48 pm -- just NOW!

More updates to come. But for now, praise Jesus that sweet April Rose has breath in her body at this moment!

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

the April update post

This post was retrieved from Bloglines as the cache had been cleared and it couldn't be found via the original blog cache.

Raechel again. I'm going to be posting things/details as I hear them on this post. I want to leave the "April is HERE!" post with just that news.

9:37 - I'm signing off for a bit. (It's my wedding anniversary, after all!) We're all exhausted, but Kelli has said she will update directly to the blog now so I can go. Blessings, friends. -Raechel

8:38 - April Rose has been living and breathing for SIX hours now! The glory is the Lord's for each and every breath. (By the way, some of you have asked who Kelli is. Sorry if that somehow slipped through the cracks! Kelli is B's friend there in town. They've been friends for years and B has been planning to have Kelli there for April's birth since the beginning. She has been so sweet to provide us with updates - I'm several states away myself! - all the while being there to support B & D and love on April Rose. Thanks, Kelli for being a fantastic friend to B!)

8:14 - Kel is there with them now and is experiencing firsthand the emotions of these moments. She is asking for specific prayer for B & D right now. I thought about posting a completely separate post about this, but I'll just ask you all here. For the next 10 minutes - from 8:14-8:24 - can we all close our computers, (I'll disable comments) and all drop to our knees in prayer for this Mother and Father who are losing their baby girl. Ask for the Lord to be near to them, pray for a miracle, pray for His will. We are thanking God for his promises to NEVER leave us or forsake us, and that NOTHING can separate us from the love of God.

8:06 - Kelli is helping with the foot molds now.

7:52 - B & D are working on casting molds of April's feet. (The kit was another gift from one of y'all!) Also, I am told that April has green eyes. :) It's a nice detail to know!

7:48 - April is 5 hours old! This is a gift!

7:22 - April's heart rate is now in the low 70s. Kelli hasn't heard anything from the doctor that came. You may notice someone very little and very beautiful (and, MIRACULOUS, I might add) in the lower right sidebar. See her? That's our baby April. :)

6:48 - April is 4 hours old! No new news, but the doctor is here. (I'm sure you all understand that the "special surprise" will have to wait for now.)

6:37 - April's heart rate is "rapidly decreasing". This is a time to be in prayer for our sweet sister in Christ.

6:29 - There is a doctor on the way to the house for April. Her heart rate continues to decrease and her breathing is slowing.

6:13 - April's heart rate is decreasing. It's just below 100 bpm. Pray, friends.

5:48 - April is 3 hours old!!! And, sleeping like a baby!

5:39 - Stay tuned for a special surprise...

5:22 - April and B are sleeping! The midwife will continue to check on April's heart while they sleep but will not wake them if possible. Will let you know when they wake up or if anything changes.

4:55 - A bath from her Daddy, a fresh set of clothes and a big first meal, April Rose is fast asleep in her Mama's arms. And, I don't think Mama is far behind. She worked HARD!

4:48 - April Rose is 2 hours old! Can we all sing a song and dance around?! April's life is fragile, yes. But no more than yours or mine. LIfe is precious! Let's dance to the Lord for the life he gives each of us! We have life right now!!

4:39 - Kelli is back. Heart rate is in the 120s! April is crying a bit so B's giving her a pacifier.

4:36 - Getting questions about vitals and medical interventions from y'all. Will ask for a heart rate update when Kelli gets back. Don't know what the midwives are thinking though I know they are weighing things for sure. Lots of discussion right now. Pray for wisdom. B wants time with her girl, not to have her whisked away during this precious time. The people in the house right now (B, D & the midwives) have all the information right now to make decisions - we just have pieces. They know things that we don't, and all we can do is pray for wisdom.

4:24 - Kelli has just gone into the bedroom to visit with B and April Rose while D speaks with the midwife. Since Kelli's our girl with the inside scoop, we'll be waiting until she comes back out for more updates. Did I mention that April ate like a champ? Three cheers for her and her Mama!

4:20 - There is a photographer at the house to photograph the new baby!

4:18 - An hour and a half! Praise Jesus!

4:12 - April is wearing a crocheted hat with a rose on it (I believe made by one of y'all?), and a onesie that someone sent that says "Already a Miracle". Fitting, eh? Oh, and the Gracious May shoes pictured in B's hands here fit "perfectly".

4:08 - April has eaten. Kelli got to hold her and say hello for a bit. Now B & D are alone with their little girl for the first time. D dressed her, by the way. :)

3:48 - Happy 1-hour birthday to April! Praise be to the Creator and Giver of life for this time he is giving April Rose and her parents. Oh, that we would all count each hour of our own lives and the lives of others as so precious. Life is a gift!

3:38 - Moving into the bedroom to get more comfortable.

3:37 - EVERYTHING is too big for April. A million things to wear and nothing fits! (don't we all have this problem!) :)

3:36 - Big happy news! After some discussion, the midwifes have decided that this girl needs to eat! They are teaching B how to do it right now. She gets to feed her baby girl!

3:31 - April's heart rate is 118. We are praying for time. And, for wisdom in these moments, both for the midwives (yes, there are two there now) and for B & D.

3:23 - D is looking around for things for April.

3:22 - B is holding her daughter. This is a moment we have all been praying for. It's a miracle!

3:18 - Happy 30-minute birthday, sweet baby A! We love having you here right now!

3:13pm - April is in her Daddy's arms.

3:04pm - 4 pounds, 8 ounces; 18 inches long! Praise Jesus!

3:01pm - weighing her...

2:57pm - News from Kelli - "She looks perfect!"

sunday morning

This post was retrieved from Bloglines as the cache had been cleared and it couldn't be found via the original blog cache.

**Update**

2:38 Sunday afternoon - We're VERY close - they can see the head! April is doing great and it looks like she will meet eyes with here Mama and Daddy very soon! Pray!

-Raechel

**Update**
2:00 Sunday afternoon - B is pushing. April is doing well so far and will be here soon.
Lord, be near.

*original post follows*

Hi everyone! My name is Kelli and I'm here with B and D. Yes I'm here! I'm in the other room :) but can tell you what's all going on.

It was a long night for them. I got here at 5 this morning and could see how tired everyone was. Things were progressing slowly and there were concerns with that until about an hr ago. Things now look better.

There has been a lot of talk with the midwife and a midwife assistant that is now here about concerns and decisions about if April is born alive. It looks like this will happen and they are determining what they will do in different scenarios. For example if they will check her here or take her to the hospital and how long they will wait.

B is now 8 cm and this has been the hardest time for her so far physically and mentally. I am sure she would continue to appreciate your prayers. Me, Raechel or someone will continue with updates as much as we're able.

Kelli

his unfailing love

Hey y'all, it's Raechel. It's Saturday evening now and, while there is not much to say, I want to keep you all as updated as I can.

B is having frequent contractions now and is up and moving around. The midwife is there, probably for the long haul at this point as they expect this is only going to progress. Active labor is only just beginning and B has a lot more work to do before April comes.

The glorious news is that our April Rose is handling all of this BEAUTIFULLY and her little heart is doing fine. Everything looks great on that end. She is a champion and this news is such a source of joy for her Mama and Daddy right now.

Even still, B is very tired. They both are. This process, as many of you know, is so physically exhausting. Add to that the nerves and fear of what they do not know, and you can just imagine what these hours are like for them right now.

Here is what D told me just a few minutes ago:

"An update would be good but not sure what else you or we could say. She is really trusting God but is very sad. We have prayed and talked a lot. She is listening to the song 'Unfailing Love' on repeat. She is a great mom already."

Of course, I think we already knew that. :)

We are praying that things continue to go well with April and that B can handle labor well. Please be in prayer for this little family through the night as God lays it on your heart. I will do my best to post updates as they come.

I'll close with a verse that B asked me to share with you all. It has been running through her head all evening.

"But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him,

on those whose hope is in his unfailing love."

Psalm 33:18

resting and waiting

This post was retrieved from Bloglines as the cache had been cleared and it couldn't be found via the original blog cache.

**Update** It's Saturday, a little after noon. Just wanted to give a quick update. B & D were up quite a lot through the night and their midwife was there to check on things again this morning. B is now at 4cm, but not yet in active labor. She is resting now.

**Original post follows**

Hi, friends. I know it's late, but I'm guessing I may still catch some of you before you turn in for the night.

I want to ask you to be in prayer for B and D tonight. There was an ultrasound this afternoon and things are looking fine, so that is a relief. But, there has been a bit of progress this evening that causes us to believe labor could be close. B's midwife has gone home for the evening and B is resting now though she is experiencing a lot of discomfort.

This has been an emotional day, and an exhausting one. Please pray for B & D tonight that they will be able to sleep and get the rest they will need if labor is indeed around the corner.

I will do my best to keep you posted when I hear more details.

Raechel

my first love

This post was retrieved from Bloglines as the cache had been cleared and it couldn't be found via the original blog cache.

So... I did not meet with my midwife today as planned. She has been attending a birth since last night (not lil’ April’s, obviously!) So tomorrowit is… Bright and early, or well, 9:00 a.m. anyways...

We will all be meeting and through ultrasound will be able to see how the placenta is aging, as well as make a plan as to how to move forward. I have been anxious and restless for the last few days (and nights) and hope tonight I am able to get the rest I will probably be needing here shortly (if you think of it, pray for me, for that, specifically, could you?). While I don’t have many answers, I do know that I will be meeting this little miracle, soon...

And, hey, while you are praying… Could you lift this family up in your prayers? (several of you have e-mailed me tonight about them, and while I do not know everything, here is what I do know):

The Bolte’s have already lost two sweet babies, and just had a little girl named Hope a few days ago, who appears to have some kind of skin disorder (again, I do not know all of the details). Please keep the Bolte’s in your prayers during this time. Click here to visit their blog.

Okay, and now can I gush for a minute about D as well as share something on my heart about a little 4 letter word; L-O-V-E?

(Oh, good, I thought you’d say yes!)

Now, I won’t get into all of the details, but let’s just say that before D came into my life in any romantic fashion, I was in no way looking for romance. In fact, I was kind of, ahem, repulsed by the notion. Life events that had taken place before the time of "me and D," were hard, and to just put it all out there; made me see men pretty equal to dirt (how is that for honesty!). Ha.

No, really, that is how I felt.

And then I watched a movie with this guy friend D and while it was just a movie, I couldn’t help but continually look over at him and wonder…

Now, I will spare you all of the details, but like I have touched on before here, obviously at some point, the wondering became more than wonder alone, and fast-forward and here we are. And while, of course, April still being with us is the most unexpected thing, what D has done to my heart is a close second.

And, oh, what a conflict, considering our faith differences. I could write a whole post on it, from someone who has been is there. But just briefly; I’ve loved D for months. I love him because he is April’s Dad. But I also love him for countless other reasons. D has been there for me when I, at times, have lost my sense of hope. Christian or not, he has reminded me that life goes on, and while I can’t see the future, I do know that I can’t imagine my life without him in it.

Yeah, I did give up my integrity for a man, and it was completely wrong. Yet, at the end of the day, I feel like D is the one thing I got right.

And last night as I sat on the couch next to him watching one random movie after another, to pass the time (I/we do a lot of that these days), I realized something incredible… D not only gets me, and I him, but he hears me and speaks to me even in the silences. If that isn’t love, I am not sure what is. See, I don’t just love D. I am in love with him.

So what is the problem, you ask?

Well, those faith differences. Those, are huge.

Oh, don’t you just wish we could magically make someone a Christian?

I do, because I love this guy I speak of and this would be a heck of a lot easier if him and I were doing this together, relationally, more than just as friends who have crossed lines.

But throughout all of this (in particular tonight) the question that God has continually put on my heart which has shown itself more than that wonder, those feelings and emotions is simply, “Who and/or what do you really love?”

And last night as D spoke to me in the silences and I looked at him and knew all the emotions behind my smile and my eyes, I was reminded that who I was (before I became a Christian) is no longer. Who I am in Christ is what is now. And that isn’t a one time change. It has been a change that has had to occur within meevery single day (at times, hourly, and even minute by minute) as I choose to allow Christ to be my first love.

Many of you have e-mailed and asked about what will happen in the future with D and I and I won't pretend to know the plans that God has for us. - Together? Apart? - I don't know, but He does and I can rest in that for tonight. Truth be told, I am in love with Him. I am also in love with him. But capital “H” beats little “h” every time.

It is worth the time to consider it... Isn't it? ... “Who and/or what do YOU really love?”

HIS will Wednesday

* * Important Announcement * *

Due to the response of "His will Wednesdays" I have had to look at how to make it a bit easier on myself, as well as practical. I know Wednesday isn't over 'till midnight, but ideally I want to see these posts up Wednesday mornings, so that all throughout the day, we can check in and lift up these requests. In order for this to work I need to stop taking requests sooner. So, if you have a request please get it to be me by Monday evenings/Tuesday mornings at the very latest. This will allow me enough time to work on these posts on Tuesdays and have them up much earlier on Wednesdays. E-mail me your requests here or comment below (though e-mailing me is the easiest way!)

Thanks everyone for your understanding!

Meet Seraph – Seraph is a little boy who is about to have open heart surgery. Not only does he need prayers, but so does his family, as this is a very stressful and difficult time in their lives.

Meet Megan - Megan's little man, Evan who just turned 1 years old today is in need of surgery to replace the mitral valve in his heart. This will be his 2nd open heart surgery in his short life. Surgery has been scheduled for July 7th. Please keep Evan and his entire family in your prayers as they prepare for this. Click here to visit Megan's blog.

Meet Noah – Baby Noah continues to struggle with complications after being shaken by a daycare worker back in April. He has just had surgery on his eyes, and needs our continued prayers, as do his parents. Click here to visit his family’s blog.

Meet Kent and Kari – Last week, at 32 weeks pregnant with their first child, Kari woke up in a severe amount of pain and made it to the hospital just in time. She was found to have severe pre-eclampsia/toxemia and they found their son, Michael, had already passed. If she hadn't made it there quick enough, she wouldn't have made it either. This couple is heartbroken, over this unexpected loss. Please keep Kent and Kari in your prayers as they struggle through all of this.

Meet Amanda – Amanda is concerned that her husband will lose his job this week and they are already struggling with finances. Her husband has been down about the situation and Amanda is trying to hold things together and find the right words of encouragement for him during this time. She is seeking prayers for his employment and well as their marriage.

Meet Sara - Sara is seeking prayers for her marriage, as her husband is struggling with a gambling addiction and is spending more and more time away from home/her.

Meet Rachel – Weeks ago we were praying for an upcoming interview for Rachel, who is a Social Worker. Praise! - She got the job! Rachel is now finishing up her last week at her current place of employment and has had a difficult time doing so. She is seeking prayers for a smooth transition and for healing for the families she is leaving behind. Click here to visit Rachel’s blog.

Meet Missy – Missy and her husband, Jeff, have been trying to conceive for 3 years now. The Doctors say that they are both medically fine. At this time, this couple does not have the funds to have further testing done.

Meet Cristin – Cristin is a single mother and is seeking prayers as she struggles with some of the stresses that come along with this role. Click here to visit Cristin’s blog.

Meet Hillary – Hillary lost her middle daughter 19 months ago. She is seeking prayers for her entire family as they continue to try to find peace amidst the grief. Hillary is not working at this time, as it was decided the best place for her to be right now is at home with their other 2 daughters, and they are struggling financially right now. This family needs our prayers for peace, resolution and even joy to come back into their lives. Click here to visit their blog.

Meet Ruth and Scott - Ruth is currently 32 weeks pregnant with a little girl named Hope who was diagnosed with Alobar Holoprosencephaly at 14 weeks. This couple obviously decided not to terminate, but are now being faced with several difficult decisions, and would love for you to add us to your His Will Wednesdays prayer requests. Click here to visit Ruth and Scott’s blog.

Meet Lindsey – Lindsey is asking for general prayers for her little daughter Madison and herself, as they are going through a difficult time right now. Click here to visit Lindsey’s blog.

Meet Amanda – Amanda and her husband suffered a miscarriage just 2 weeks ago. This family is trusting in God’s perfect plan, but is also struggling with the loss of their little one. Click here to visit their blog.

Meet Jennifer - Jennifer's husband Dean has been out of work for about a month due to illness. He has been very dizzy, his equilibrium off, feeling unstable on his feet, etc. The Doctors aren't sure what is wrong yet, but Dean had an MRI this past week, and they are now waiting for answers. Tests like these, as so many of us know are very stressful. Please keep this family in your prayers both for Dean’s health as well as comfort during this time. Click here to visit Jennifer’s blog.

Meet Bentley – We have been praying for this sweet little girl who recently underwent open heart surgery. Bentley is now home and doing very well. Yesterday she awoke with a little cold. Please pray that she recovers from this quickly and that it does not progress. Her little body is still healing, but praise God for her progress! Click here to visit her family's blog.

Meet Amy – Amy is seeking prayers for her marriage. A combination of gambling problems with her husband, tough situations with their teenagers, and a recent miscarriage have all contributed to marital problems between her husband and her. She is seeking prayers for comfort and God’s hand on their entire family.

Meet Baby Elenore – This sweet little girl was just born at only 26 weeks gestation, weighing only 1 lb, 9 oz. Elenore as well as her Mom, Toni and Dad, Jon need to be lifted up in our prayers.

Meet Tyler - Tyler is a 1 year old little guy who was diagnosed in December with stage 4 Neuroblastoma Cancer. Click here to visit Tyler's Caring Bridge page.

Meet Ashley – Ashley’s husband is currently deployed to Iraq and he just received orders to go to Germany for 2 years. At the same time, Ashley was just accepted into nursing school after 2 years of waiting. This couple has an 11 month old and are just asking for prayers to be lead by God in the right direction for their little family, whatever that may be. Also, Ashley’s husband will be coming home in 2 weeks and is seeking prayers for safe travels. Additionally, Ashley’s sister and brother in law have been trying to conceive for 3 years and are looking for God to reveal to them His plan, and what road they should head down next. Click here to visit Ashley’s blog.

Meet Megan – Megan’s 4 month old daughter, Ella, started having staring spells a couple of weeks ago. It has since been learned that they are small seizures. They continued to increase in frequency and duration until last Friday when Ella had a major seizure (full body convulsions and unresponsive). She was hospitalized over the weekend and is now on anti-convulsant medication, but her seizures have not remained controlled. Ella will be having more tests and appointments, but at this time they do not have answers. Click here to visit Megan’s blog.

Meet Cathy - Cathy is seeking continued prayers for her son David and daughter-in-love, Lianna to be blessed with a child. Click here to visit Cathy's blog.

Meet Stephanie – Stephanie suffers extreme pain, daily, due to a genetic disorder. She is now divorced and a single mom to two children. She is very alone and tired. Please lift Stephanie up in your prayers. Click here to visit her blog.

Meet Becky - Becky's husband, Travis was diagnosed last fall with a rare vocal cord condition known as spasmodic dysphonia. There is no known cause or cure. They have tried several different therapies with no real change. Becky and Travis have 4 children and housing issues which are adding to their stress. Please pray for the whole family as they work through Travis' condition and pray that God would bring healing.

Meet Kristina - Kristina and her husband Ben have been trying to conceive for 3+ years now and have been struggling through several infertility treatments over the course of these 3 years. Last week Kristina underwent surgery and they are hopeful that pregnancy is in the future. She is seeking prayers for God's peace as well as strength during this long road. Click here to visit Kristina's blog.

Meet Sadie - Sadie ia a little girl who has Cancer. She is currently undergoing chemotherapy, but is doing well, considering. Click here to visit her family's blog.

Meet Christie – Christie and her husband have been having a very hard time and Christie is scared that even though they love one another, that love may not be enough. She feels hopeless, scared and lost. Christie fears that her husband no longer wants to be a part of their family, and while changes need to occur on both ends, Christie is willing to make these changes, but needs comfort and strength as she continues to struggle within her marriage. Please keep Christie and her entire family in your prayers during this very trying time.

Meet Sarah – This young wife and mom is in the process of losing her marriage. Sarah will soon be moving 200 miles away to live closer to her family and is very scared about where her life with 3 little ones, alone, is headed. Click here to visit Sarah’s blog.

Meet Noah Gentry’s Family – I mentioned his situation in my blog last week, and am asking for your continued prayers. Noah, just 6 years old, drowned last week at a country club swimming pool. There were several other students and parents and lifeguards involved in this situation and no doubt, a lot of confusion, fear and loss. Please continue to pray for Noah’s family, friends and community.

Meet Deb – Deb and her husband will be traveling to Atlanta for a 2nd brain surgery in an attempt to eliminate/minimize his seizures. He will be having 2 surgeries in a week. Please keep Deb’s husband and this couple in your prayers.

Meet Kami – Kami and her husband have been struggling with infertility. They just received their 2nd IVF and she is now pregnant! Please pray for a healthy, continued pregnancy, and ultimately baby! Click here to visit Kami’s blog.

Meet Tiffany – Tiffany and her husband continue to struggle with infertility. They are gearing up for a fertility clinic visit in July. There are no doubt a lot of emotions during this time. Tiffany is seeking prayers for comfort and peace as this can all be very overwhelming. Also, Zach (Tiffany’s husband) recently had knee surgery and is now going through physical therapy, which is proving to be very painful. Please keep him in your prayers as well as Tiffany’s mother who has been dealing with the several physical issues. Click here to visit Tiffany and Zach’s blog or click here to visit their Fundraising blog, which was set up to help them with the cost of infertility.

Meet Grandma Rella - G’Ma Rella’s youngest daughter, Katie, (25) is legally deaf, in part because of Rella having meningitis during her pregnancy. In 2004, an accident caused debris to hit Katie in the head, face and ears, which tragically increased her deafness. Today, she wears hearing aids, but still cannot hear well enough to even hear her two children's laughter, voices and cries. She also suffers constant inner ear infections, undergoing weekly suctioning of fluids. Katie has a wonderful job in a hospital, but is currently being scrutinized because of her lack of hearing. It appears that she may soon lose her job. Katie is a single mom and has always supported her family, on her own. G’Ma Rella is seeking prayers for a healing miracle, as well as for Katie’s employment; that this job she loves and needs is secure. Click here to visit G’Ma Rella’s blog.

Meet Caroline - Caroline is a 27 year old single woman who is struggling with being alone. She desires a husband and a family and is struggling as so many of her friends now have husbands and families of their own. Caroline is seeking prayers for strength as well as continued trust in God's plans for her life.

Meet Ashley - Ashley and her husband have been trying to get pregnant for 2+ years. They have attempted a couple of IUI’s with no success. Next week Ashley will be having a diagnostic laparoscopy with dye to try and find the problem. The surgery is next Wednesday, June 10th at 7:30 a.m. Please pray that the doctors will discover the issue if there is one, and that Ashley and her husband will continue to trust in God's timing.

Meet Katrina - Katrina and her husband are expecting baby #4! This past September Katrina suffered a miscarriage of a pregnancy that was not planned. She has dealt with some guilt feeling that she was not excited at the beginning of that pregnancy. Now that she is expecting again she is apprehensive. Please pray that she would know God's love and protection. Pray for a healthy baby and that Katrina would be able to enjoy and look forward to the new life. Click here to visit her blog.

Meet Gwendolyn – Gwendolyn has SMA. Most SMA babies do not live past the age of 2, and she is now 20 months. Please keep baby Gwendolyn and her entire family in your prayers. Click here to visit this family’s blog.

Meet Melissa – Melissa and her family are about to lose the home they live in as their landlord will be selling it. They are having a hard time finding a place to move as well as the finances that are necessary. Melissa’s husband's hours have been cut at work; they have 4 sons and a foster daughter. She also needs prayer that the hearing for guardianship of her foster daughter goes smoothly. Click here to visit Melissa’s blog.

Meet Erin – Erin would like continued prayer for her current pregnancy. She is 6 weeks along and is praying that all would go well. A praise that her little son at home is handling the weaning process well. Click here to go visit Erin's blog.

Meet Shannon – Shannon and her husband have been married for a little over 8 months. Recently he was diagnosed with testicular cancer. He has had surgery and should have gotten pathology results today. Please pray for healing and direction. Click here to visit Shannon's blog.

Meet Susan - Susan and her husband have been trying to adopt for the past 20 months. They have had two failed adoptions and numerous fertility treatments. Please pray for strength to continue this journey, as well for wisdom and guidance.

A Prayer Request from Jenny - Jenny’s friend’s daughter, Shonita was struck by a car this weekend. Shonita is improving but is still in critical condition. Please pray for her healing and for the family as they go through this trying time. Click here to read the newspaper article about this tragic incident.

Meet Meg and J - Meg's fiancé is attempting to find a job in law enforcement, in fact earlier today he had an interview. Meg and J are waiting to plan their wedding until he has secured a job. Her car has also broken down and she is trusting God to provide the finances to fix it before the next semester of school begins. Click here to visit Meg's blog.

Meet Missy - Missy is living in Canada while her husband is in the U.S. Their immigration interview is next week. The interview is on June 11th with no set time. It is first come, first serve; they will have young children with them also. Pray that everything goes smoothly and that the interviewer will be compassionate to their situation. This family would love to be reunited after a 9 month geographical separation. Click here to visit this family’s blog.

Meet Heather – Continued prayers needed for Heather and her husband Ron. This couple has two boys (ages 6 and 7), but have had four consecutive miscarriages between their boys and their current pregnancy. They have made it further this time (21 weeks) than any of those four pregnancies, but those losses are still very fresh in their minds. At a recent ultrasound/appointment they were told there were several choroid plexus cysts found in the baby's brain. They have their Level 2 ultrasound with a Perinatologist next Tuesday, June 8th. At this appointment the Doctors are going to be looking for more "markers" that would show the baby has Trisomy 13, 18 or 21. This pregnancy is already a miracle for this couple, but they are very nervous and seeking God’s peace and comfort as they face whatever next week will bring.

Meet Polly – Polly is a 38 year old first grade teacher who is currently fighting stage 4 breast cancer that has metastasized to her liver and bones. Despite her challenges, she manages to focus on the positive and is an inspiration to all around her. Please pray for her cancer as well as her continued comfort and peace throughout this fight.

Meet Jeanne – Jeanne’s Grandfather has Alzheimer's. He is currently living on his own and her mom takes care of him. She doesn't want to put him in a home because she is afraid he won’t live much longer once he is there. He is very confused right now and not only is he struggling, but so is Jeanne’s mom. Jeanne is seeking prayers not only for her Grandfather but for God’s guidance in her mom’s heart, regarding the right direction and the tough future decisions that need to be made. Click here to visit Jeanne’s blog.

Meet Niki – Niki’s daughter Sarah has been having health issues since December 2008. She has recently undergone several tests in order to find out the cause of her issues. As of yesterday it looks like Sarah has been receiving the wrong dose of a medication which has made her troubles worse. She will be having an MRI done soon, being evaluated for seizures, meeting with the endocrinologist about possible tumors ALL in the next week. On top of Sarah’s struggles, Niki lost her job just last week because she missed too much work to care for her. Niki is seeking wisdom and peace for her entire family. Click here to visit her blog.

Meet Bryon - Bryon suffered a seizure in April 2008 that led to a diagnosis of a very aggressive brain tumor. He has had surgeries to remove the tumor and the treatment still continues. Bryon and his wife have two little girls. Please pray that the treatment would be successful, that God would provide for this family's needs and for peace. Click here to visit their blog.

Meet Cynthia - Cynthia would like prayers for her sister. Her sister is having a follow-up procedure done to have pre-cancerous cells removed. She has had this done once before. Please pray that it is successful so that she does not need to have a biopsy done. Pray for Cynthia that she can be an encouragement to her sister at this time.

Meet Baby Sophie - Sophie was born in February 2009 with a rare disease called spherocytosis. Because of this, Sophie's kidney and liver suffered irreversible damage after she was born and now have begun to fail. In addition, her bone marrow is not producing blood. Two weeks ago the doctors urged Sophie's parents to let her go. They refused, and Sophie is still hanging on and has recently even been making small positive improvements. Please keep this sweet baby in your prayers.

Meet Paxton - Paxton and her husband have fertility issues. They were blessed with one little boy through IVF, but now face the decision of needing to implant the remaining embryo. Paxton is dealing with some health issues that make it necessary for them to go ahead with the IVF soon. Their little boy is less than 5 months old. Please pray for them that they have wisdom, peace and that God would bless them with another baby to bring into their family. Click here to visit Paxton's blog.

Meet "Snickie" - "Snickie" and her husband are in the process of adoption. The finalization that they hoped would be soon has now been moved to the fall. Among other things they were in a car accident (everyone is fine) but they are now without a vehicle. "Snickie" also found a lump in her breast and will be seeing her doctor soon. As you can tell they are in need of prayer on many fronts. Please pray that God would guide them and give them peace. Click here to visit her blog.

Meet Cortney - Cortney is asking for prayers for her mom who has lost her job recently as a nurse. Please pray for them that God would show them the path for each to take; for Cortney as she wants to be supportive of her mom and for her mom to know where God is leading her. Click here to visit Cortney's blog.

Meet Michele – Michele suffered through a late term miscarriages of twins and of a single boy. Michele is now pregnant again with twins and had a cerclage a week or so ago. Please pray that God would protect this pregnancy.

Meet Soli – Soli was born prematurely and has chronic lung disease. She was scheduled to have surgery today. Please pray that her little body handles the g-tube well and that she comes off the vent without any problems. Click here to visit her mom's blog.

Meet Tristan – We have been praying for Tristan's pregnancy. She has suffered a previous miscarriage and was requesting prayer for her current pregnancy. Praise God that the last doctor's appointment everything went well and that there is a healthy heartbeat. Pray that things continue to go smoothly. Click here to visit her blog.

Meet Amy – Amy’s son Phillip needs our continued prayers (you may remember that he recently had serious spinal/brain surgery). Amy recently met with a new Doctor and received news that was quite discouraging. She is not quite ready to share that with everyone, but please keep praying. Also, Amy is still facing her own health issues with breast cancer and is now living alone at home with her children. Click here to visit Amy’s blog.

Meet Bianca - Bianca's sweet 9 month old daughter, Linden, has Down Syndrome and a repaired heart defect called AV Canal defect. In the last few weeks there has been additional medical concerns raised. This week Linden has been really irritable. She has an upcoming Doctor’s appointment to rule out anything more related to her heart. Click here to visit Bianca's blog.

Meet Melissa – Melissa is seeking prayers that her and her family will be able to find a new home to be able to move into within the next month or so. Also for VBS which starts at her church next week.

Meet Tricia – Tricia’s current job has not had money to pay her for over 4 weeks. Her husband and her are foster parents for the state and supporting these children and their home with what little income the state provides is not enough. Beyond the financial struggles, Tricia is seeking prayers for the children that are in their care whom need so much guidance and help to accept the new world around them. Click here to visit Tricia’s blog.

Meet Ashleigh - Ashleigh and her husband Justin have been trying to get pregnant for 8+ months. They do have a little girl who is 2, but never thought it would be so hard to get pregnant with baby #2. Last week Ashleigh thought they were pregnant, but later found out that they had a false test which was just devastating for them. Please pray for their continued strength and comfort as they continue on down this road. Click here to visit this family's blog.

Meet Cassie - Cassie and her husband have been married 7 years and are still struggling through infertility.

Meet Chelsey and Bryan - Bryan, who was recently diagnosed with stage 3 Rectal Cancer and also just recently began chemotherapy. Click here to visit this couple's blog.

Meet Gabby - Gabby needs our continued prayers. She is a 17 year old girl who is dealing with medical problems as well as adjusting to life outside of a hospital. Keeping her weight up and eating are daily struggles for Gabby. Earlier this week Gabby was re-admitted into the hospital and needs our prayers as they now try and find more answers. Please keep her in your prayers and click here to visit Gabby's blog.

Meet Debi – Debi and her husband both lost their jobs in February and for financial reasons, each had to go and live with different family members. Debi needs to move out of the home she is staying in right now, and needs prayers that she is able to find another place to live soon. Her husband was able to find a job, so now we need to pray that can be reunited and be a family again quickly.

Meet Jonathan - Jonathan was initially diagnosed with a brain tumor and then further diagnosed with Anaplastic Astrocytoma, stage 3 type Cancer. Click here to visit his family's blog.

Meet Isa - At age three, this sweet girl has been diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia; ALL, and has a long road of treatments ahead of her. Click here to visit her family's blog.

Meet Rosie and Derek - This couple has been married for over 6 years and are struggling with infertility. Click here to visit their blog.

Meet Ben - Ben was diagnosed with Leukemia a little over two years ago. He is currently in remission, but is still going through chemo. Click here to visit his family's blog.

Meet Alyson - Alyson's son Avery was born with PPHN and almost did not make it. He has been struggling with putting on and keeping on weight ever since. He has been doing better lately in some areas, but is having a hard time with some of his new medicines (belly aches, etc.). Avery's next Cardiologist appointment is on June 9th and Alyson is praying that all of his heart and lung problems from birth continue to be a thing of the past. Click here to visit Alyson's blog.

Meet Piper - This little 2 year old sweetie has been waiting to leave the hospital and join her mom and dad at home, since birth. She suffers from Cerebro Costo Mandibular Syndrome. Click here or here to visit her family's blog.

Meet Reagan - Reagan has had no relief from constant infantile spasms. Pray that she may find some relief with the new medication combinations. Also pray for her family. Click here to visit their blog.

Meet Zoey - Zoey has Down Syndrome, had a stroke and is battling AML. She is currently in her final round of chemo. Click here to visit her family’s blog.

Meet Baby Trevor - This 21 month old little man has Spina Bifida. He is vent dependent and having a very rough time with seizures right now. Please keep him and his entire family in your prayers.

Meet Julee - Julee is seeking prayers for their two boys waiting in Ethiopia whose cases keep getting delayed. They have been waiting almost a year for them. Job is 11 months old and HIV+ and Judah is 3-4 years old with Down Syndrome. They both need to be home with their forever family and here in U.S. with better medical care. She is also seeking prayers for another soon to be adopted baby boy. He will be born via c-section in a week or so. He also has Spina Bifida and will be having surgery soon after birth. Click here to visit Julee’s blog.

*** MANY people continue to request prayer for these sick babies and their families... If you do not yet know about them click on their link to read more about their circumstances...

The Freeman Family - Click here to visit their blog.

Baby Stellan - Click here to visit his family's blog.

Abby - Click here to visit her family's blog.

Baby Jonah - Click here to visit his family's blog.

Baby Peyton - Click here to visit his family's blog.

Gavin - Click here to visit his family's blog.

Baby April - You are already here. Thank you for praying! A medical update: Not much new. We have another appointment tomorrow mid-day... There will probably be some big decisions made within the next day or two on how to proceed with labor. I will update when I know more. In the meantime, please continue to keep us all in your prayers. We feel them and are so appreciative.

*** Anonymous Requests: Please Pray...

• For a family's son "B" to be healed from Eosinophilic Esophagitis and for their daughter "A" to recover from brain damage.
• For a man, "C" who recently found out that he is HIV positive.
• For a single woman who recently had an abortion and continues to struggle with the aftermath of ger situation.
• For a woman who is due in September. Possible complications, will be going to a specialist soon. Parents are newly married and struggling.
• For a woman who had twins a couple of months ago. - A few weeks ago they had been up with them in the middle of the night to feed them, the the Dad put the boy down in his crib and the Mom went to sleep on the couch with the little girl. When she woke up the little girl had passed away during the night.
• For a woman who has been having some anxiety issues lately.
• For a 14 year old girl with a brain angioma. She is no longer able to stand or walk alone.
• For a young couple that is expecting their first baby. They would like to move closer to home before the baby is born.
• For a young woman who is feeling depressed. Money problems are physically and emotionally draining her.
• For a 4 week old baby girl named Nahayla who was recently airlifted to Vanderbilt Medical Center and had emergency open heart surgery. She has been diagnosed with a very rare illness that attacked her heart first. This past week her kidneys and bones have been overcome with infection as well.
• For a woman’s 9 year old daughter. She has had Epilepsy for a few years, and is having trouble with some side effects. She also was recently diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder, due to sexual abuse by a male baby sitter, and losing 3 friends in a house fire.
• For a young woman who has grown up in the "picture perfect" family, with parents who have sacrificed so much to provide the best for her and her sister. A few years ago her parents finally bought their first house; their dream house. Then, in February, without any warning this young woman's father (a 60 year old General Manager with a Master's degree) got let go from his company. Now, almost 5 months later, he's slowly slipping into depression. While their house isn't about to be lost, this man's spirit is. This entire family needs our prayers; for a job, for strength in the interim, for comfort amidst the sadness that not only this man is feeling, but his wife, and his daughters in having to see this man suffer in this way, and for a touch like only our God can provide.
• For a woman who after beating a very rare kind of cancer 10 years ago then experiencing the heartbreak of failed in-vetro last year starting experiencing back pain again. She went for her yearly scan and they have found a mass. She is currently awaiting her biopsy results.
• For all of the countless "unspoken" requests on so many people's hearts.

"Your Kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven..."

a hair bow with heart

Do you have a little girl? A niece? A granddaughter?

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Okay, well here is the deal. Several months ago I met a sweet mother, Abigail, through my blog. Not only is she the woman behind Missy Prissy Bow Boutique (link on my left sidebar), she is also mother to Marcus Wayne, who was born on April 19th, 2000, with Trisomy 18. Abigail is just one of the many people I have met online, who has walked a similarly difficult road, with the loss of her little man to a trisomy.

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Abigail told me a few weeks ago she was working on a special bow to send our way for little April. Well, surprise! - She did that, and more...

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Abigail has made this hair bow in honor of our little girl. She is naming the bow "Hoping in Pink," after May 20th was declared "Hoping in Pink Day." Abigail says, "My hope is that April's mommy will find peace in the many people who support her and that she can use her story/testimony to help others..."

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And helping others is my hope!

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Remember this? - Well, after I announced the "Support Life: Pick a Rose" campaign, I got a tiny bit of negative feedback. - You know, people saying that we were just trying to make money, even that my blog was a cover to sell shirts (ha... you get the picture!). Now, that was never what we set out to do with the shirts and isn't what happened in the end either. But I just wanted to mention it here because, with this bow, I will not be getting any proceeds. Instead, a portion of every sale will be donated to PASS Pregnancy Care Center (the same place that I mentioned here, and whom a portion of the tee shirt sales went to).

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So folks, if you have a girl, or know a girl who'd like a pretty bow, consider purchasing "Hoping in Pink" by clicking here. In doing so, you'll never know how far your money has went in helping women in unplanned pregnancy situations, through PASS, and of course it also helps Abigail, a sweet mother who has been in my shoes.

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Thank You.

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Oh, and by the way - those April tees? - I am totally sporting mine:

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Oh, and one more thing... It is Tuesday! Ya know, the day before Wednesday. - Do you have a request to still get in for tomorrow's "His will Wednesdays" post? If so, comment below or e-mail me here.

Goodnight friends!

so perfect and deep

I remember the very first time I dreamt that I lost her; it was months ago, and it was the worst dream of my life.
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I remember how I woke up in a cold sweat, and how before that night I had never felt anything close to that. It left me shaken.
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The dream became a recurrent one, and the shaken feeling, did not lessen as the nightmare repeated itself.
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Months ago, my days were spent in total fear. If I didn't feel April move, I freaked out, always prematurely. I was scared... I was anxious... I thought every kick could be her last. And then when her heart rate started to drop, I lost it.
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I of course, was not prepared to meet her, but my mindset was there, in ways. I believed the time was close. I thought a lot about her passing inutero. I dreamt about it. I guess you could as far as saying that I expected it.
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And then, what I did not expect to happen, did.
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Days, weeks, months later, April is sitting pretty in my little belly. Safe... Growing... Alive.
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This morning, as you probably know, I had an appointment to check on my little girl's progress. My progress too.
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Despite my plans to go to bed early after wrapping up this post last night, I was up until the early morning. And then up just a few hours later, for the day. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't stop thinking about the "what if's." - What if I went to the appointment and was told that it was time? What if it wasn't? What if she comes through? What if she doesn't?
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What if?
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I'm sick of "what if's." I want answers. Not more questions. But, more questions it is...
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What we now know: I am measuring 31 weeks. I am still just 3 cm dilated. And the placenta doesn't appear to be aging like it would be if I were a true 41+ weeks (Basically, there is still a very healthy exchange between April and I... Nutrients, blood, etc. This means that my EDD is most likely off a week or so. If I were a true 41+ weeks the exchange would be lessened, and the placenta would appear more aged).
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So, here I am. Here we are. Yes, still. And with more questions and different emotions than I would have thought. - This morning when I heard about the EDD, the placenta, the measurements, etc. I was angry. I didn't expect that emotion to come through. I didn't even know it was in me, regarding this. But, I became angry. Angry that I am still living like this. Angry that nothing seems definitive. Angry that my life right now feels useless. I don't do much. I cry a lot. I'm not myself.
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I know, I know... "Have faith, God is still God." - That is completely true, but it is so tough.
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I want something concrete. I want answers.
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And yet, I don't.
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Because answers are scary.
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But, so is the unknown...
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Those dreams about losing April. The cold sweats. The tracking movements. The fear that every kick I felt would be the last... Well, I haven't thought like that in a long while. I mean, it used to be every day, and now it's nearly never.
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Everything that has happened so far seems to be setting the stage, so to speak, for a miracle. The e-mails from all of you, the encouragement, the faster heart rate, the growth, everything. I realized today that everything has been so positive, that I have barely looked at the negative. And the negative is quite a possibility.
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I was talking to a few friends today, and this topic came up. Ya know, the whole struggle of being realistic vs. being optimistic vs. being negative. It is a balance I am unsure anyone can master. And in regards to spiritual things, specifically, it is very difficult...
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To me, this is the perfect time for God to show Himself. - For God to heal April. For a miracle to occur. It is the perfect time, right? I mean, all of us could watch Him show up... Can you imagine all of the glory He would get? And I (maybe selfishly) think about D, and how a healing miracle could potentially completely change his perspective, and his eternal life. If April was healed, God would get all of the glory. D might come to know Him. And I would get to keep my girl. Perfect, right?
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And all of that thinking, makes me wonder. I think, in a big way it has made me push aside the medical issues that I know, and focus on the possibilities with God, almost exclusively.
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I don't think that is wrong. But then, a day like today comes, and it hits you, that you really may be about to say goodbye. That fear and that uncertainty, and attempting to balance it all against the maybe miracle, is heart breaking, and tonight, that is where I am.
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I am broken.
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I am carrying April, still. Not knowing what will happen next. I have another appointment on Thursday and that one will hopefully bring concrete answers. Though, as much as I say I want them, I don't think I will want them when they come.
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I spent a lot of time in bed today. I thought a lot about the last few months, this "trial," this life I am carrying, my journey, etc. And while I did think about a lot, something that my thoughts kept going back to was when I first became a Christian. A lot of you have actually asked me about my testimony, in some Q and A post opportunities, and while I won't get into all of the details I will share a bit that is on my heart right now...
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That night that I said, "Here I am Lord" wasn't a night complete with cake or fireworks. It was just a night in which I caught a glimpse of God... I saw the verses for more than just words, but promises. Promises from a God who knew me and loved me... And didn't love me despite who I was, but loved me for it. And once I caught that glimpse, I pursued Him.
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Just because I had become a "Christian," didn't mean that things weren't hard anymore. A lot of times things were harder because of my faith, but I had my eyes set on something more than the present... I saw God; the Kingdom of God... Faith, a promised future, hope, joy despite my circumstances, and yes, love. And not just a love full of worldly condition, but a love that was beyond anything I'd ever seen or known before. A love so perfect and deep, it is love's very definition. And it pulled me out of every dark hole I ever fell in.
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I am angry tonight. I am broken. And, I am fearing the very answers that I am desperately seeking. And yet, I have to believe (or just keep telling myself until I fully do) that this dark hole is no different than the ones before. This is God's plan.
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I suppose each of our roads to growing closer to God are different. And I know that God isn't done with me yet. Perhaps, He is asking me to stop questioning... To deny my emotions, my wants, my desires and just be faithful, no matter how hard it hurts. I believe that God does know what we all really need and want, and what He has in store for us will fill our desires 100 times and beyond what ours own desires could.
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I am still a work in progress. We all are.
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What does that show?
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That we are human, and that because of that, we need God. We can't do this life on our own. Or, well, I will speak for myself; I know, I can't do it on my own. But more than that, I have been created by God, for God, in love. And He lives in and through me, and He weeps when I weep.
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And, yes, it does feel horrible at times. But He said that He will never leave me or forsake me, and that nothing and nobody can take me from His hands. And I don't know how all of this works out, but I believe that if I continue to do what He wants me to do, tomorrow will be better. And if tomorrow doesn't seem less painful and alone, than the next day, or maybe the next.
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One thing I do know is that the hurt can't be forever, because this (life) isn't forever, and knowing that promise from Him to me, from Him to you, makes the hardest parts of life a bit easier to bear.

Psalm 42