our feet; His path

I do not want to write too much on this topic, but did want to write a quick post to address something I have been getting a lot of feedback on...
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Home birth.
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After I explained in my last post that this was the direction we were headed I got about 50 e-mails that same day explaining to me how it was a bad decision, or wrong, or how I could possibly go to jail, and the most hurtful... How I would be allowing April to die by not affording her the chance at medical intervention. Now of course, I did get several supportive comments, but those other ones...
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Huh?!
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Without getting into all of the details, I just wanted to clear the air. I really have become educated in the area of home birth. Not only have I read stories of other women, with poor diagnosis/prognosis that chose home birth, but I am also working with a midwife who has experience in situations just like ours. This decision is not one that we made lightly, nor is it one that is illegal, and definitely not selfish or one that hurts April in the process...
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Rewinding... A few months ago when we realized the severity of April's diagnosis, we chose to work with a social worker from the hospital on a birth plan. This is something we took very seriously, considering our options, and what would be best for our girl. There is so much more to our story and April's prognosis than what I have detailed in these blog posts. While it is true that there are definitely babies who live with Trisomy 13, and babies who live with Holoprosencephaly, April's prognosis is poor, and with both of her known conditions as well as her sick heart, she is not expected to live. Those are the "facts," medically speaking.
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Do I believe in miracles? Absolutely. Do I believe that she can be healed? Of course. Do I pray for these things (if they are God's will)? Yes! Believe me, yes, yes, yes! I feel April move about inside of me every single day and she is so full of life; I don't want that to end. We pray for His will. We pray for miracles. But we also have to plan for the things we are medically facing.
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Dr.'s never expected April to make it this long. She already really is a miracle. We have heard time and time again that she won't live outside of my womb/will not likely make it through the birth process alive. Of course, these are not certainties... But probablities? Yes. Things to consider? Absolutely.
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Months ago it was decided that if April was born alive, if God gave us that miracle, we wanted to love her and hold her and be with her as long as we could be. 2 minutes... 2 hours... 2 days... 20 years. We do not know how much time (if any) that we will be given with our sweet girl. That is a scary unknown. But we have decided against medical interventions that will only give us a few more minutes.
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You see, if April is born alive, she is already beating all of the odds. If she lives and I have a few moments with her, I want those moments to be intervention free. I want them to be just her and us, not her and us and tubes and wires and swarming Doctors. In addition to that, we know the risk of epidurals (side effects such as low blood pressure in the mother, etc.) and we think it is best to avoid any (even remote) thing that could further be harmful to April's frail body.
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We are praying for His will, and praying that His will is our miracle. But if it is not, we just want to hold our girl, free from all the life-saving support, that gives us moments more. We would rather our girl just feel loved and be in our arms, not on machines and in Dr.'s and nurses arms. And if God heals her? Well, we are only a short drive (or even quicker ambulance drive!) to the hospital.
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We trust God. He knew this would be our decision and for Him there will be no surprises when April is born. He will provide, whatever our next step is.
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* Please know that I am truly thankful for all of the support that I/we have received, and am confident that the majority of those who e-mailed, meant no harm, but just wanted everyone to know that this is nothing we haven't rolled over and over again in our minds and become educated on. We are confident in our decisions for our sweet girl. And God is good. He will be all that He is supposed to be the day we have our daughter, whether that means Healer or Comforter.

"Show me Your ways, O LORD, teach me Your paths; guide me in Your truth and teach me, for You are God my Savior, and my hope is in You all day long..." Psalm 25:4-5